It is very interesting how time, years of experience and our environment change us. There are so many things in our lives that we would like to avoid doing, but actually we end up by accepting them. This usually happens over a course of time, without us paying attention. It happens so naturally. It is very true for example, when you go to live in another country: nostalgia for your native country fades away little by little and soon old habits are replaced by new ones. Things that you maybe disliked in your new country, finally become your own way of living.
When you become a parent, you become a different person with a new life, with new habits. You learn many things while doing them, and sometimes you realise that it is different from what you used to read in the books, from what others say is « right ». You do things in your way.
This also happened to me and in this post, I wanted to share with you things I thought I would never do as a parent:
- “I will never give iPad or my phone to my kids”: I remember seeing kids with their tablets in trains or during flights and telling myself that my kids won’t be like this, that I prefer them reading books while travelling. How wrong I was! For me, it became an essential tool during our trips. To be honest, I don’t know many parents who can do without it. If you know any, I would like to know how they do. Especially, when you travel alone with 2! My toddler being very active, how can I make her sit still and quiet during a long flight, and at the same time look after her 8 months sister? So yes, I was wrong, my kids will play games on iPad when we travel and my trips will be so much easier!
- “My kids will not watch TV”: Like iPad, TV was something I really wanted to avoid. Honestly, my kids are not TV addicts, but it can be of such a big help in the evenings, when they are tired, hungry and you just need 20 minutes to get dinner prepared. It is even more true when the second baby arrives and when your toddler is so jealous that she would not let you breastfeed her sister. In these moments, TV has been a really good babysitter for me.
- “My daughters won’t use dummy when they are 2 years old”: I used to be quite surprised to see 2 or 3 years old children with dummies. And now, my daughter, who is 2 years and 6 months still has it. When she is around 3 we will try and give it to the fairies but at the moment I don’t think it is worth crying and creating frustration. Knowing how difficult it is to get rid of it, we threw it away when our second daughter was 6 months. She is now a happy 8 months baby without a dummy.
- “My kids will always behave well and will never scream publicly”: Does it happen to your toddler to have tantrums publicly? If yes, you know for sure how difficult it is. When it happens for the first time, you just want her to calm down as you hate other people in the street watching you with their wide opened, shocked eyes. And you are so worried that you want to take your kid to a psychologist and check if she needs any medical help! But once you have talked to other mums and done some reading about tantrums, you know that this is something normal and you must just know how to try and avoid them or deal with them when they happen.
- “I won’t give sweets to my children”: Of course, I prefer they eat fruit rather than sweets and cakes but now I think that it is OK for them to have some from time to time. I try to give them as a special treat. And also, why not cook and make cakes together with your children? My daughter loves cooking and I know that home made cake is the best.
There are many other things that I thought I would do in a different way, but I try not to be too tough to myself. I know I am not perfect and nobody else is. As soon as these little “sins” are not the part of my children’s everyday life, I know they will be OK.